Jan 04 2010
Time Constraints + Stress = All My Fault?
Last year, despite the fact that I came down with the flu right before Christmas, I considered flogging myself when I realized my Christmas cards would not make it out. It’s not as though I thought there were hoards of people sitting by their mailboxes waiting for a card from my little family. Nor did I have some hidden desire to see how many people I could infect with the flu by sending my card and licked envelope. I just think cards are a nice thing but that doesn’t explain why I was having such an incredibly hard time with it. This year, I was working, prepping for the holidays and, right before Christmas, dealing with a sick two and a half year old. Ok, so everyone was busy right? I’m not the only person who was stressed by the holidays so screw the excuses, what was my deal?
Well two things were at work. Amid all the other things that I had going on, I simply didn’t plan my time well enough to write cards. I would leave them to the end of the day after my little Doodle had gone to bed and that was not the wisest move because when she goes to sleep I’m toast.
The second thing is I realize that I don’t like to write cards out when I’m in a bad, tired or stressed mood. I have this thing – and now you are about to think I’m nuts or is it already too late for that? – that I just don’t want to send that feeling, energy, out there. I know like there is some way my feelings can be communicated through the ink on the card – crazy but I wait to be jolly…yes, like Santa. (I know …you are now convinced I’m nuts and I’m ok with that.) Guess what though the jolly didn’t happen till the presents were under the tree which is why folks will be receiving Christmas – or should I call it New Years – cards soon.
All of this got me to thinking. So much of the stress that we feel is self-imposed, especially when it comes to time. Is there anyone holding a gun to my head telling me that my cards need to be out before midnight on Christmas Eve? No. It’s me. I beat on myself because I have set time limits in my brain and despite anything that may happen – fire, snowstorm, frogs falling from the sky – I beat myself into submission to get them done. It’s unhealthy. There are immovable time limits for things like getting the flu shot, showing up to meet people and how long you can leave a brownie in the fridge before you MUST eat it. But for the most part there is a little wiggle room for us all we just need to allow ourselves to find it.
I planned to have a project up and running by today. Well, as often happens while in mid-flight, I realized I needed to add something to it to give it a little more flavor, if you will. That has caused a slight delay and the moment I realized it would, I felt that urge to hang myself upside down by my own toenails. Now, I think this is pretty funny given the fact that the ONLY human being on the planet who knew about my start date was me; it was completely self-imposed. So, why was I being so harsh?
We all have inner clocks that we set but sometimes we need to snooze or reset them for a few minutes more. It’s ok if those projects that you are working on are adjusted from time to time. Life happens and sometimes we need to make that modification to our plans in order to help someone, give ourselves more time to create or even just take a mental breather.
What’s your relationship like with time? Are you friends? Do you have that love/hate thing going on?
An e-course
BIG
Deep
Kreatives Kafe
I have two signs in my house that I love.
one says: So much time, so little to Do! Wait….reverse that.
The other says:
There is exactly enough time for the important things in life.
When I look at either, I laugh.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TASH!!!
Lorrie!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! How are ya??? So awesome to see you here
I LOVE both of those signs just as much as I LOVE the fact that they make you laugh…when I read them they did EXACTLY the same thing to me….brilliant. I’m writing them both down on my bulletin board to keep me happy all year round. As always you rock!
Yes,
Tasha, We are all so crazed by time. I think women more than men because we multitask all the time. Is that sexist? I berate myself all the time for not getting enough done. I realize, though, that things always take me longer than I expect so as I get older I make shorter term goals for myself which hopefully are attainable. Love to you. Murphila
Hi Natasha!
I believe I don’t have a good relationship with time. I’m very unrealistic about it. I either think I can get more done than I can or that I should be able to do more in the time that I have. I tend to think I have some sort of defect if I can’t do all the things I think should be done in a certain period of time. It’s frustrating and I hope some day to be “healed” of this.
When I was in high school and college, I used to spend ridiculous amounts of time lying around daydreaming. I loved it but it kept me from doing other things – like living my life. By nature I’m a procrastinator and it hasn’t been until the past few years that I’ve realized how detrimental procrastination is.
Recently I read a line on one of the facebook pages I’m a fan of (coolsuccessstories.com). It said something about time management being a myth. Time can not be managed – it is what it is. The only thing that can be managed is me and what I do with the time I have. That has helped me quite a bit. That and realizing I need to take responsibility for how I use my time. Everything I do (or don’t do) will determine what I can and cannot accomplish. If I choose to watch tv for 2 hours, then I can’t expect to be able to work on my art or business things.
Of course, there are other things that we have no control over that intrude on our time: illness, family demands, electrical outages, unexpected guests, etc. I say we just quit beating ourselves up for unrealistic expectations and just vow to prioritize and make better choices. Let’s just be kind to ourselves and not let time get the best of us!
Natasha – why or why or how or how do you always hit on exactly what I’m feeling?? I had so many things on my to-do list yesterday and ate up a lot of time because of a house maintenance issue that had to be dealt with immediately. I was angry – at my CONDO for Pete’s sake!! Thanks for the reminder about self-imposed stress…
Both of those sayings are great! I had presents that didn’t get finished for Christmas – but birthdays are coming up – so I’m almost ready for them!!! Yay for me!!! The past 10 years have absolutely made me step back a bunch – sometimes I think I can do more than I actually get done – but I don’t drive myself as nutty over it now – I just have to not do some things in order to get other things done from time to time tho – I’m formulating new ideas to work on when I get home – but am enjoying some “down” time and spending time with my daughter’s family – There really is so little in life that “has” to be done right now! time with family and friends is so much more important. And snow days – what a great excuse for for playing Monopoly and staying safe at home drinking hot chocolate, as far as I’m concerned!
Happy Happy New Year!
Mary…I love this…the idea of realizing things take more time than we think they will. I’m totally guilty of this and trying hard to realize things in life take time..period. The idea of short term goals is great!! I love that and I can tell it works just by what you have written…no I don’t think your thought was sexist…it’s an opinion and women are great multitaskers…maybe too good sometimes LOL
Laura – I love your honesty and that quote was right on the money (I’m totally going to check out that site by the way, thanks). I think it goes in line with something Mary said about misjudging how long things will take – maybe shorter term goals would work. But it also speaks to another issue that I know I’m guilty of – doing everything at once. I will throw myself into everything with 110% of me and BAM! I’m tired, cranky and want to be left alone. I think there is a beautiful balance between finding time to work and playing – we NEED daydream time. Perhaps it’s a matter of saying screw it to the clock and tuning into what we need inside and then following. I do think there’s a natural flow to what we need…and perhaps it’s less about time and more about moderation….you’ve given me much food for thought…I love it and I say YES, YES, YES to being kind to ourselves and not letting time get the best of us – well put!!!
Felicia – LOL…it’s great minds my friend!!!! I’m so sorry you had a house maintenance issue – it’s so annoying when life gets in the way of plans….but isn’t it that saying life is what’s happening while you’re planning for it?? LOL..yeh makes me crazy too but you will tackle that list I know you will….and I send you big hugs and some chocolate to help the stress
Lisian you are just adorable! You hit the nail on the head my friend….friends, family, snow days – those are the things we carry with us, the things that last…the other stuff…it will get done…we will do ….in time ….when its the right time
So wonderfully put – what are making for birthdays? Have fun with your daughter’s fam…enjoy it all …soak it in…what a lovely start to the New Year!